Dating Tips, Fitness Tips, Daily Blog of the TheFitnessPersonals.com

Question: Why does it have to be the guy who shows his hand first?

Someone recently asked me this question, speculating that girls want to hear it from the guy first; “it” being their emotions. This person, (we’ll call him John) is a single, successful, attractive male who argues about “true interest level” being the motivating factor. He states that, “If the girls interest level is way high, say 90% or above; then she will feel compelled to share her true feelings– as for the guy if his interest level is above 90%; he too will feel compelled to do the same. Now, in the case when neither parties’ interest level is above 90%; they both remain silent, waiting for the other to reveal their hand.” He feels that girls want the guys to go first though, so he contemplates then, that if noone steps up– this is a relationship out of convenience and that “this person will do for now, until the real deal comes along.”

Oh, you men! You are quite something, you know. 90% proof why girls commonly want to wring a guy’s neck. This isn’t a mime act. Staying silent in these particular times will solve nothing, only bringing looks of confusion. Another close friend of mine (we’ll call him “James”) said something almost exactly like that the other day! All innocent and sweet-like, he said “You know, championship games in the NBA wouldn’t be the same without the entire season. Why not practice and make good of each game before the BIG one?” Come again? This isn’t a test round for the person who is feeling 90% or above on the scoreboards. Grade? F! My question is: Why is it so much easier for the male to pass off a casual relationship as permissible, but digressing;I tread away from dangerous water.

Going back to the question from the first paragraph, women don’t want to show their ‘hand’ first, because they don’t want to become a wreck when they realize the guy has been bluffing the whole time! Why does it have to be a competition? Girls are often emotional and sensitive and even when guys can be, they tend to have a tougher shell.

“John” is right though in some ways; a relationship agreed on both ends as comfortable and had out of convenience is fine, so long as the two can be well and clear on it. I repeat: well and clear. Eventually, I believe someone will tire of the other person on a faux-romantic ‘practicing’ level, because something will always be a little “off”. Appeasing your loneliness is 90% selfish, but you may be closer to love than you predict… as we can’t forget that many successful deal-makers have failed not only in academics, but in ethics as well.

Final say? Whatever your analogy shall be regarding the “One”, showing your hand could just work in your favor. Or a lil’ peep at the cards, at least! The “show me yours and I’ll show you mine” rule really holds not ground. Listen to what you hear inside and go with that. Being fair and realistic can only bring fruitful results for the future or as John, who is a businessman puts it; “the real deal”. Going to a theme park that resembles the far corners of the earth might be comforting and entertaining, but one day it WILL hit you that it’s all fabricated and fake, leaving you feeling only emptiness and a tragic longing for authenticity. The way I see it? Life is but a stage. Make each one count with substance. Screening a dress rehearsal isn’t meaningless, since the premiere lies ahead. Don’t settle. Just don’t waste your time with a bunch of ‘undesirables’ as seat-fillers when you can proudly go solo awaiting the opening act.

NS

“Therefore trust to thy heart, and to what the world calls illusions.” -Longfellow

Are you having trouble finishing your workouts because you run out of energy? There could be several reasons:

1) The timing of your exercise selection is important. High intensity exercise such as speed work, interval training (high intensity to low intensity rotation), one-legged exercises, etc. should be performed at the beginning of your workouts when you are fresh. Your body’s neuromuscular system is highly fatigue-prone at high intensities. Performing these exercises in a fatigued state will compromise what you are trying to accomplish.

2) Perform compound exercises such as squats, deadlifts, lunges, bench press and bentover rows early in your workout. Compound exercises work multiple joints and major muscle areas. You need to be fresh to do them properly. Single joint, less demanding exercises such as bicep curls and calf raises should be done later in your workout.

3) Eat properly during the day and at least 1-2 hours before your workout so you’re not running on fumes.

4) Get enough sleep. If you are sleep-deprived, you won’t be able to adequately complete a demanding workout.

5) Keep your workout time at 1 hour or less. You don’t need marathon training sessions to have effective workouts.

6) If you are diabetic, you may need to bring a snack to eat during and after your workout.

7) Don’t take on an advanced exercise before you are ready for it. For instance, you may have to “work up” to being able to do high intensity interval cardio sessions.

Need more exercise and nutrition tips? Subscribe to my weekly Fat Blaster eNewsletter!

Mark Dilworth, Performance Enhancement Specialist         My Fitness Hut

How’s it going lovers?  Dr. Date here..I know I took some time off, I tend to do that, but I’m never far away; at least always looking down from the rafters

So….I had this big article planned on social dynamics and dating but you know what – I have received several e-mails asking for advice on how to create an effective online dating profile.     You would think this is a simple task and a matter of common sense, but as many you of know, it’s not.  Ok – here we go..

5 Tips To Creating A Great Online Dating Profile

1. It all starts with a great headline.  Many people use their name which is ‘ok’ at best but great headline is more then just your name but rather something dynamic that will catch peoples attention and get you noticed faster.  Here are two decent examples: “Rather Be At The Gym”, “Mountain Biker At Heart, Lawyer By Day”.  When you are done reading this article go create a great headline for yourself.
2. Word choice..Choose your words wisely – if your headline did it’s job then your profile will be read and this is your opportunity to rise above and shine or fall below and sink.  Paint pictures with words, create imagery.  Excellent word choice will help separate you quick.  Here is an example: instead of saying “I love the beach” you can say “I love going the beach near may house on warm summer days.  I enjoy relaxing in my beach chair and drifting away to the sound of crashing waves”.  There ya go sparky! Ha ha - always remember - Think before you type. 
3. Photographs - This one is so basic but so many miss it!  I recommend at least 3 and make sure each one shows you in a different environment.  For example: have one of you dressed up, another say at the beach and another maybe relaxing at the house.  Get it?  If not – that’s your problem.
4. Clarity .. This means be clear in what you are looking for.  You don’t want your time wasted and no one else does either.  Say you are guy and are interested in tall athletic women, well then say that!  Guys are probably wondering “well how do I say that?” men…I tell yeah! Lol  This is how you say it: “I prefer a woman who has an athletic build and at least 5′7” or above”.  Now that wasn’t hard was it? 
5. Interesting details.. Let people know what you are into – more like what makes you – you!  If you like to fish, then say it and talk a little bit about it.  If you like dancing say that and maybe throw in your favorite dance like Salsa or the Cha Cha.  The key here is to show that you are person with other interests and are passionate enough to share some information on them..  

There you have it.  5 tips to improve your chances for success with online dating.   I have many more tips I can share but I’m not going to give you them all in one shot.  You got to earn it

Till next time.

Dr. Date. 

Fitness bootcamps have become popular as a form of group exercise. My question to anyone thinking about participating in a bootcamp is this: What are your fitness goals? Your answer will tell me whether a bootcamp will have long-term benefit for you.

If your bootcamp experience isn’t part of a permanent commitment to a fit and healthy lifestyle, then you are not going to get the permanent fitness results you want (a lean and toned body). Permanent fitness results take longer than any 1 or 2 week bootcamp. The bootcamp will just be a quick fix for you. That sounds harsh but I see the quick fix scenario too much out there.

I don’t do bootcamps because I prefer to work with people 1 on 1. Individualized attention to clients holds them and me accountable for real, lasting results (fat loss and weight loss).

The next time you are thinking about participating in a fitness bootcamp, ask yourself this question: Have I made the commitment to a permanent fit and healthy lifestyle? That is the real question that you need to answer.

Mark Dilworth, Performance Enhancement Specialist           My Fitness Hut

Have you ever seen this comment before?  I have on magnets, on cards, and on t-shirts sold everywhere.  The sad thing is that this is such a true quote.  Whether one admits it or not people usually hate when others succeed and they aren’t.  This could not be any more evident then when people start to take their health seriously.  I think when you are fat and your friends are fat it is okay, but when you lose weight and they aren’t…whoa!  People make comments, little jabs here and there, but half the time it is becasuse they don’t have the will power like their friends.  They are envious of their control, something they don’t have.  What better way to fix that then by completely sabotaging their friend.  Now when I say sabotage, I don’t mean hurt them physically or anything like that, but I do mean play with their head.  Have you ever been trying to eat better and a friend brings you something they know you can’t eat?  Have they ever given you crap for trying to change your lifestyle?  Or they ask you to split something with them because they can’t eat it all by themselves.  You know the saying, “kick a man when he is down”…a comedian once said, “when is there a better time?” 

I think sometimes people are so afraid of change that they don’t even realize what they are doing or if they are even doing it.  When people start to lose weight they gain more confidence in themselves, in fact they might start doing things they have never done before.  They might all of a sudden feel good enough to not have to go out with their friend.  They might start meeting new people and find new things about themselves and find new interests, that don’t involve their friends.  Most of the time this is what scares others.  Change, is like the boogie monster, if you don’t acknowledge it then it can’t be there, but your still afraid of it.  Friends are so used to you being you, that they are afraid that this change will change everything, including your friendship.  So what do they do? They will sabotage your happiness for the sake of your friendship. 

So what is the answer when you start to take charge of your life and make some changes?  Make sure your friends know that no matter what happens to you physically that your friendship is still important.  Even as adults we have to validate our relationships with our loved ones just to let them know we still care.  So if you make that change maybe you can involve your friends. Instead of your all night bingers at the bar wake up early and take a walk or jog near the beach, go kayaking together, or have a great dinner but make it healthier.  Show your friends that it is okay to eat healthy and that not only is it good for you but it can taste great too.  Maybe if your friend is a big time hiker you can ask to come along.  The idea is to have a great time doing something together that is different and new, the idea being together. 

Just remember you need to make yourself happiest first.  If you want to jog and your friends aren’t into it, screw em’ you’ll catch up with them later.  If they can’t be happy for you then they aren’t really that good of friends anyway…or they aren’t very happy themselves.  Either way you can’t change them or how they feel, you can only change yourself!  Have a great week!

 If you have any questions please email me at info@trainhergirl.com or jmostal-brahm@hotmail.com just remember to keep true to yourself!  Jess

I hear this phrase often, “I don’t have any equipment to workout with.” My answer is always the same–”you don’t need much equipment to workout.” You can do bodyweight exercises, run outside, jump rope or do calisthenics for your cardio and do dumbbell strength exercises.

Dumbbell workouts are superior to lifting weights on machines. Dumbbells allow you to use “natural body motion” as you perform the exercise. You can also perform dumbbell exercises in any plane of motion. Machines and even barbells (sometimes) restrict natural movement. Machines typically use the sagittal plane of motion. Daily human movement uses all three planes of motion (sagittal, frontal, transverse).

Dumbbells allow you to train one-limb-at-a-time (unilateral training). Therefore, each arm and leg is forced to do “its share” of the work. Also, if one arm or leg is stronger than the other, dumbbell work can correct the strength imbalance. Unilateral training also challenges the core more than bilateral training.

Along the same lines, dumbbell exercises improve your balance because they force weaker muscles to “catch up” with the stronger ones. You can also do more challenging exercises such as single leg dumbbell deadlifts to improve your strength and balance. This will also challenge your nervous system more. Dumbbell workouts allow you to be more creative with your exercises such as doing a squat-to curl-to press movement.

Finally, dumbbell exercises are many times safer than the barbell counterparts. If you have to suddenly drop the weights, dumbbells are easier to discard.

Need more exercise and nutrition tips? Subscribe to my weekly Fat Blaster eNewsletter!

Mark Dilworth, Performance Enhancement Specialist           My Fitness Hut

I hope you can see a pattern forming with these articles! Yeah, that’s right! Personal trainers are just like you when it comes to fitness struggles. The major difference is this: personal trainers should maintain a high level of fitness and have solutions to your fitness questions.

So, let’s talk about accountability partners (social support) today. Personal trainers need accountability partners too! An accountability partner is very important to help you succeed with your fitness goals! Don’t try to reach your fitness goals alone!

My accountability partners include:

1) My clients. They expect and deserve a trainer who will “walk the talk.” I often give clients a “freebie” (we workout together).

2) Friends. Chris, Brooke, Jonas, Rachel and Jackie know if I have been working out and vice-versa. We know what “where have you been?” means.

3) Admittedly, some personal trainers are “out of shape.” Those of us who are serious about fitness keep each other in check.

Who are your accountability partners? Don’t have one yet? Get one or more ASAP! You need some accountability partners to help you reach your fitness goals!

Need more exercise and nutrition tips? Subscribe to my weekly Fat Blaster eNewsletter!

Mark Dilworth, Performance Enhancement Specialist            My Fitness Hut