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Bounce Back

And… after weeks apart I’m back! This week’s topics? People on the rebound. Questions to ponder: Why do people rebound? What does this accomplish? Will it satiate cravings for fulfillment? Will those rebounding– in this short time attain the picture of happiness sought or will they sink away into the recesses of emptiness, loneliness and wash away the colors of Once? Do these actions become justified or do they provide an X-Ray of your soul?

Leaving the dramatic aside, let’s get to the point.

Breakups are hard, no doubt. They happen for reasons known and unknown and are uncontrollable and inevitable. Both parties are hurt in the matter whether the decision is mutual, singular or impulsive. Some cope in positive ways, others in more questionable ones.

So, how do you deal? Some ask how does one positively deal with these rough times, leaving the negative i.e. binge drinking, blacking out and stalking to more desperate folk? I would say spending time with friends and family is the best remedy one could ask for with many windows of laughter. If you’re more emo and that doesn’t work for you, solitude, reflection and reinvention just may be a good new look.

Rounding back to the questions in paragraph One? Why do we rebound? My take? We rebound because we are flushed with emotions that we cannot control. We cannot navigate the treacherous waters of hard times and broken hearts. I imagine a newly broken-up party on a lone boat on the choppy waters of an angry sea. Where will that boat find shelter, where will it find refuge from an onslaught of cracked hearts and vicious memories that obstruct its path to smooth seas and sunny skies? Well, I would say many will find their message in a bottle… if you know what I mean. Patron induced decisions, following an Aha! realization that the other person will be better off and so will you (!), or perhaps bitter slurs to cover your sadness. Or worse a simple fade out into a drunken stupor, leading you to being comfortably tucked into bed by a pissy friend and awakening fully clothed with the lights on. Which ever you do endure, you will come out with a message of either hope, desperation or surrender.

Next question? What does this accomplish? Rebounding accomplishes very little. If anything it’s a sign of temporary weakness and helplessness or impulsive reaction to the unexpected. Personally I don’t rebound (unless chocolate and vino count!), but for those who do… I feel their pain. Time is a friend and Time is a foe, but every person chooses their hour.

Will it satiate our cravings for fulfillment? Dubious, but who knows. Sometimes relationships form out of rebound hookups. They usually end. Abruptly, too. All is well for a little while, until ZAP! The person realizes the “new” person is NOT the ex. The craving is like a junkie jonzing for a crack fix who tries to soothe his urges with a placebo pill or a crazy coffee drinker trying to replace their morning cups with tea! Laugh, but I kid you not. When it comes to relationships & breakups, the addicted are everywhere; coffee shops, nightclubs, dark alleys or in the comfort of their own homes. Little increments and little highs. For everyone.

This leads us to ask if we will, in this short time attain the picture of happiness sought or will we sink away into the recesses of emptiness, loneliness and wash away the colors of Once? Probably neither. Sorry!! Both are polar extremes that I use only because of my tendency to use ridiculous scenarios, but hey… you never know. Most people just need Time. Time to sort out their thoughts, emotions, ugly realizations and save their most special memories. Weeding out the bad takes time, but I think we are inclined only to take the good in our hearts as immediate memories, storing the vile away in the dark corners. The rest… they are not forgotten, but… they will fall away just as the warmth of a relationship fades like Summer.

Finally, Do these actions become justified or do they provide an X-Ray of your soul? Nobody can justify an action except YOU. Others can call it out, but in the end you are the maker of your life. People may put you down, but life is your canvas and all great portraits have color. Whether that color of your personal life’s X-Ray is monotone greys or streaks of bright fuchsia, you are the dear person to choose. So, heartache and all, paint with passion and do it well. Just keep your eyes forward. Don’t look back.

Blyth

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